[ring.blog] sh begin.sh
5 gruelling, painful, years in the kiln has forged a different being than the naive man I was entering this engineering program. I wanted to rush. Get in, get out with my degree, get to working on birthing my ideas.
Nothing worked as I expected. The more I studied, the more ideas came to mind. The more ideas that came to my mind, the more I wanted to get it over with. If I spent too long on ideas, marks dropped and I feared I’d have to stay longer. I felt like I was chopping heads to see more sprout.
Initially, I thought my love for knowledge was like Stockholm syndrome, that it developed to justify that I keep going forward despite mediocre grades. Really, it came from my desire to explore and figure out the answers to my millions of questions (sorry for interrupting class so often to those who have shared one with me). I need to keep learning new things if I want to keep kindling my mind.
So at my lowest points, I thought seeking knowledge from other sources, such as online communities, books, articles, would keep me going. But really the thing that drove me the most especially during those times was stepping out and being part of the community. And I sensed it the second I was extracted from my parents’ vehicle on the first day. My brother, Zain observed this trait in me and I was in denial, but now that I’m closing that door, I realized that all this time I stayed for the people and I’m really going to miss it.
Is there anything like this in the ‘adult world’? Is this just the beginning?
As my final semester approaches its end, it’s going to take a while to get over this, but it’s about time. I carried on because of people and it took me 5 years to figure it out. And now that I have, I can learn stuff on my own or from friends, prioritize what I think is important, and when I get something wrong, my teacher will give me instant feedback:
My hats off to those who endured the time with me. Goodbye school.
Hello world █